The Missing Bit: Eyeshadow Mystery Solved!

In today’s Financial Times, my monthly column, Beauty Insider in the Life and Arts section is all about my beauty awards for 2012.  It’s missing a bit, probably because as usual, I made it too long.  So here’s what was missing:

 

BEST SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE THROUGH AN EYESHADOW:  Chanel Illusion d’Ombre in Epatant as worn by the models at the recent S/S13 show.

The official line is that make-up artist Peter Phillips was inspired by the shiny metallic parquet floor of Karl Lagerfeld’s new design studio.  But my own theory, unsubstantiated by any official channels whatsoever probably because it’s completely made up by yours truly, is that the real inspiration has more to do with the wind turbines and solar panels that aligned the runway, which in turn were obviously inspired by the English county of Shropshire.  Yes, that’s right.  North of Birmingham.  Left towards Wales.

Bear with me, like the best subliminal messages, this takes some unravelling, but think about it:  Karl’s right hand woman, Amanda Harlech has a home in Shropshire and will no doubt have heard of the green-light being given to a massive development of wind-farms, which in turn will be connected to giant electricity stations using 50-metre pylons and tearing through mile up on mile of beautiful countryside.

Clearly Amanda would have been grumbling about this with Karl over at Chanel HQ, (they can’t talk about clothes all the time) and clearly, he would have said, “But Amanda, why don’t they put them underground like they do in Germany where I come from? Then it won’t ruin anyone’s view! Das ist so bleedin’ obvious!”

And because he’s kind and has a really pretty fluffy cat called Choupette, and that pesky Marc Jacobs had already bagsied the merry-go-round thing for his Louis Vuitton show, that’s exactly what he did.  Underneath the runway, had anyone bothered to look, Karl buried the electricity cables, thus obviating the need for ugly-looking towers.

So you see, every time you use the shiny, silvery Illusion d’Ombre eyeshadow, really you’re saying, “Enough with the ugly electricity cables ruining Shropshire’s countryside!”  For which I say, thank you Chanel!

 

 

One Response to The Missing Bit: Eyeshadow Mystery Solved!

Laura says: December 10, 2012 at 10:20 am

I’ve been reading your column for best of the year, and is a hit. I’ll investigate more about the brand of Mamiel Annee, I do not know … thanks for the tracks! The perfume, do not you think that Guerlain has been a blockbuster?

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