In bed with…
Rudolph. He’s from Scandinavia. Insists on taking off all your clothes and rubbing butter all over your body just before going to bed which every so often (like when there’s a new series of Episodes to watch on television or you’re stuck into a novel by the late Nora Ephron) can be a bit of a drag, Oh Rudolph not now! Again? But the pay off… such soft, creamy-smooth skin when you wake up in the morning. And he is so natural, so charming – he’s not into chemicals, or artificial-anything. A bit of a purist. Likes to be massaged on knobbly bits. Elbows. Heels. Hands.
Christian. He’s the rich boy. He grew up by the sea, those gusts of wind blowing across the Atlantic made him strong. I feed off his strength. I use him sparingly. A dab or two on the cheekbones before I fall asleep and my delicate skin is as plump as a princess’s the following morning. He smells of roses. He is like nectar. We stay together for a month and then he’s gone til next time, but that’s okay. Some things are better this way.
Bobbi. He likes to get straight to the point. He laughs: “You want to feel sexy between the sheets? You need neroli, orange flower, and jasmine and you need it in an oil, dabbed on your pulse points, now!” But in quieter moments, he can be discreet, quirky even, shopping only at Harrods and hiding his charm away in a little brown bottle, precious as an antique.
Rudolph Acai Body Balm from 84 Euros; Christian Dior L’Huile Souveraine (£240, on counter from October and worth the wait) ; Bobbi Brown Bed from £60, exclusively at Harrods.